This weekly Saturday column "Ask Professor Foxy" will regularly contain sexually explicit material. This material is likely not safe for work viewing. The title of the column will include the major topic of the post, so please read the topic when deciding whether or not to read the entire column.

Hello Professor Foxy,

PS. I don't have the time or money for therapy. I especially don't have the time or emotional energy to seek out a queer-positive, anti-racist, non-judgmental therapist. Please respect that and don't make that suggestion.

Dear Anonymous -

No therapy suggestion then and you're also right, no point in talking about partners when you are not comfortable with yourself.

What comes through in your letter is how much you blame yourself, how dirty you think you are, and how sad you feel. Such strong language putting yourself down "you're the one people need protecting from." They don't need protection from you, they need protection from the disease you have. This disease does not define you, it does not change who you are. And somehow you need to get to a place where you can believe that.

It is really hard to sustain being a sex-positive queer. Everything around you tells you that you should be ashamed and when something happens - someone calling you a slut (when you are not owning the word), a sex partner saying something mean, catching an STD- that throws you off your self-confidence and all those judgments that you have successfully shucked off come rushing back in.

You are not a bad person. STDs are overwhelming the luck of the draw and you could have slept with just one person and gotten it. In all of this, keep in mind you are not only, herpes is one of the most common STDs, the stats go from 1 in 4 people having herpes from 1 in 6. As cheesy as it sounds, you are not alone.

You need to take time to heal. Sex was likely a way that you connected with your body and you need to find a way to reconnect that is not sexual. Yoga, walking, running, anything that puts you back in touch with your physical self.

Do you have friends you can talk to about this? What always amazes me is how many people feel disconnected from their body, sometimes because of catching an STD, sometimes for another reason. Find a person to talk to about this, you don't even need to start off by telling them you caught an STD, just say you are feeling disconnected from your body and talk through it with them.

Give yourself time to cry, time to freak out. Take little steps to coming back into your physical self. Again, physical movement will help. Try touching your arms, your fingertips, your toes. Feel the parts of you that feel safe. You can do this.

Best,
Professor Foxy

If you have a question for Professor Foxy, send it to ProfessorFoxyATfeministingDOTcom.

Marisa Meltzer is the author of Girl Power: The Nineties Revolution in Music and the co-author of How Sassy Changed My Life: A Love Letter to the Greatest Teen Magazine of All Time. She is a contributor at Slate and the Daily Beast, where she reviews books and movies, and writes about gender in popular culture.

Girl Power, which Courtney posted about a few months ago, is about the evolution of the feminist message in music during the era when Meltzer was coming of age. In the process of writing her book, Meltzer, who was a fan of Kathleen Hanna and Sleater-Kinney as a teen, travelled around the country attending music festivals, revisited the records of her youth, and even got a chance to meet and interview some of the women who made those records. But she also confesses that in order to write Girl Power, she had to watch the Spice Girls movie. Meltzer seems to have pretty much the coolest job in the world - Spice Girls movie aside.

Feministing readers who love music, movies and Sarah Haskins should check out Meltzer's archive of writing for the Daily Beast. Feministing readers who secretly love the Bring It On franchise should wait until no one's around to see their browser tabs and then go read Meltzer's analysis of the series.

And now, without further ado, the Feministing Five, with Marisa Meltzer.

It's that time of year again--Spring Break time.

Spring academic recesses will break out across the nation. Some will stay home with family, or remain at school and study. Some will choose a public service alternative, or spend time with a domestic or international aid organization. Despite these attractive spring break options, countless people will still choose to go absolutely hog-wild writing articles on just how dangerous it is to party.

Many college publications have weighed in on Spring Break plans, and even J-WOWW offered sage advice. I may as well throw my hat in the ring-- here are my "do's" and "don'ts" of spring break advice lists:

DO recognize that as fees and tuition skyrocket nationwide, many students will remain on campuses to work extra hours to pay for school.

Not to worry, journalists-- chances are, if you are a concerned parent, 54% of your offspring's male peers and 51% of your offspring's female peers will be working through spring break. 64% of female students and 57% of male students will even visit their parents over break.

And if you are a young college journalist writing advice articles on travel to Mexico, and therefore underemployed, you will likely also join those peers in working over spring break. Furthermore, although MTV's seasonal "Spring Break" programming may suggest otherwise, costly trips are not a recession-proof market, and now that Jersey Shore and The Real World: DC have ended, many college students probably aren't watching.

DON'T make glaring generalizations about Mexico, and by extension, about Mexicans.

After the State Department released a travel advisory about Mexican border towns, many colleges, including some of the Universities of California, sent out campus-wide notices "strongly [advising] against travel to Mexico during Spring Break." Campuses cite violence in Ciudad Juarez and other border towns, as a result of drug trafficking, in their defense of the recommendation. Outside articles continue to warn against traveling to Mexico.

The most recent data on Ciudad Juarez's murder rate confirms that it is the deadliest city in the world. But the characterization of the entirety of Mexico as a threat to all college-age students criminalizes the country, its citizens, and immigrants to the United States. As the U.S. continues with the construction of a wall with Mexico whose technology was purchased from the Israeli separation wall, and staunch anti-immigration activists will spend spring break on a porch with their guns pointed south, cultivating fear of Chican@/Latin@ people is a dangerous move.

In the same study, New Orleans was ranked the third most deadly city in the world, based on homicides. Where is the travel advisory for students who perform aid work in NOLA during Spring Break?

So I had the lovely pleasure of being part of the Diversity 15 at SXSW this year which was a series of 15 minute presentations on the ways that marginalized communities interact with the web. I was asked to talk about the ways that Asian communities interact with online spaces and ended up talking about the contradictory ways that Asian women are objectified online and also how Asian women use web technology for personal liberation through personal expression as well. Obviously the subject of "Asians and the Internet" is so expansive, you can't even begin to discuss it in 15 minutes, but I thought I would stick with what I know. The ways women interact with and are sometimes objectified by online spaces. This is a clip of my 15 minute presentation. Also here is Baratunde's presentation about "How to be Black" and Cinnamon Cooper's presentation titled, "You Win When They Call You A Bitch."

Redefining Asians and the Internet: I Am Not Your Fetish.

Partial transcript after the jump.

After months of nudging from Jos and from my sister, I finally watched an episode of Glee. And then, because I loved it so much, I tried to watch every episode ever made so that I wouldn't be distracted from my work by the temptation of unseen plot twists and musical numbers. It was Glee binge, and it wasn't pretty.
Speaking of not pretty, isn't Rachel totally ugly? I mean, just look at her:

Hideous, right? One of the running themes of Glee is that Rachel, played by Lea Michele, is talented, but annoying, badly dressed and physically unattractive. In other words, they Liz Lemon her. Yeah, I just made that a verb - and it needs to be one, because there's a lot of Liz Lemoning going on these days.

For those of you who don't spend an embarrassing amount of your time watching sitcoms on Hulu, Liz Lemonning originates with NBC's 30 Rock. The most frustrating thing about 30 Rock, an otherwise excellent show, are the constant references to the fact that Tina Fey's character Liz Lemon is ugly. The thing is, Tina Fey fits conventional standards of female beauty almost to a T. Liz Lemon, like Rachel, is a flawed character, but the constant references to her ugliness are just absurd. And while beauty is of course subjective, these two women absolutely meet our culture's standard of female beauty: they're young, white, slim, cis-gendered, well-proportioned and able-bodied, with long shiny hair and smooth skin. They may not be Victoria's Secret models, and they may have brown hair and glasses, but they certainly still meet society's standards of female beauty.

This is awesome. A group of kick-ass folks in the reproductive justice movement have created a new blog, Abortion Gang, and I think it looks incredible. More info:

We are unapologetic activists for reproductive justice.

We are Jewish, Christian, atheist, Muslim, Wiccan, secular. We are mixed race, African-American, Latina, White, bi-racial. We are completing a graduate degree, we didn't finish high school. We have had abortions, children, miscarriages. We have IUDs and we use rhythm beads. We work in reproductive health and we twitter about being #prochoice. We call ourselves feminists, womanists, womyn, wimmin, grrls, women. We are cis gender, we are trans women, we're gender queer. We have sex with anything that moves, we are abstinent, we are poly amorous.

And we stand for choice.

This is our space to talk about what drives, inspires, and challenges us, what renews our passion for reproductive justice, what makes us outraged, and our ideas to keep the movement going forward.

Make sure to check it out.

While the latest version of the health care bill would provide $75 million for sex education, it would also include $50 million for abstinence-only programs.

The Sexist talks about "bystander sexism" and how sexual harassment hurts men.

Good shit: In Michigan, a jury ordered a school district to pay $800,000 to a former student who was bullied for years.

Bad shit: New Jersey Governor Christie's budget for next year would cut all funds for reproductive health services. Take action here.

Remember Erick Erickson? He's the editor of RedState who apparently spends his free time tweeting about what ugly, ugly bitches feminists are.

And now CNN has given him a job as a political contributor on John King's new show. Seriously.

If his feminist-hating wasn't enough, here's some more info on Erickson via Change.org:

[He] has called women's rights activists Nazis, called Michelle Obama a "Marxist harpy wife," said that President Obama only won his Nobel Peace Prize because of "affirmative action," and called the U.S. Department of Education's Safe Schools Czar "profoundly sick and immoral" because of his sexual orientation.

Demand that CNN pull their job offer - tell them we have enough racism, sexism and homophobia on the air.

"To be afraid is to behave as if the truth were not true." Bayard Rustin

Shall we?

***steps up on soap box***

The internets and political chats are all buzzing about the vote on federal health care reform legislation and pundits are speculating over what will define victory and for whom or what will define defeat for that other side and why.

With so much speculation floating around, I just want to put some known things out there into the universe.

Ahem.

I ain't afraid of a damn thing related to health care reform.

Let me say that one more time...I am not afraid.

You see, health care is a right.

Mmmhmm, and no legislative defeat can change that...it would only indict the moral character of those who celebrate that defeat.

No limits, compromises or fucked up restrictions will change that. They may delay progress, frustrate the hell out of people and put women at risk...but they call this social justice movement a struggle for a reason and such hurdles have never, do not now and never will change the truth that...

...health care is a right.

No legislative victory is required to confirm that.

No matter what happens this week, health care is a right.

The only thing Congress is about to determine is whether justice will be advanced or delayed.

Justice will not be denied.

Hell, if I didn't believe in the inevitability of justice I couldn't do social justice work!

So, be not afraid!

The truth is true.

And we will get this done.

***steps down from soap box and gets back to work***

You may know about the popular book, "Porn for Women", where pictures of "hunky" men in aprons doing housework is supposed to turn the straight ladies on. Well, xkcd has a great response and I just had to share.